Skippy

“Wow, this is awesome!”

So Skippy started talking all of a sudden. He was sitting there, looking at me with his wild blue eyes, madly wagging his black and white tail, his mouth wide open in what could only be an ecstatic grin. At first, I was excited as hell.

“Yes it is!” I shouted out with glee. “What did you do? How did this happen?”

“I don’t know, but it’s awesome! Wow, there’s so many things I wanna tell you now! Wow, you have no idea! Wow!”

“Whoah, slow down there, buddy,” I smiled at him and patted him on the head. “This is kind of hard to take in, though. I can’t believe this actually happened!”

“I know, right? Wow, I just… Okay, look, we need to talk about some things. Like, wow, I know, like, you’re busy and stuff but we, like, seriously need to talk about our walk schedule. Like, wow. I need to go out more, you know? You could think of making me a doggie door or something, ‘cause wow-“

“But we already have a doggy door.”

“We do?” Skippy asked as he turned his head to the side. “Wow, I didn’t know that. Still I really don’t get you people. Like, wow, why do you pick up my poop? I left it there and it’s supposed to be there. Wow, like, talk about rude. Do you have an explanation for that, huh? Or maybe you can tell my why you give me only the crunchy stuff to eat lately? You used to give me that chunky stuff and that was amazing, wow, and you gave me the stuff you ate and it was much better, but now you don’t and I don’t know why. Do you just hate me? Because, wow, I love you and I’m sorry if I made you hate me and I apologize and I want to make it up to you because I want to be a good boy and-“

“Skippy, please, could you just shut up for a second?”

“Oh, wow, sorry! I just did it again, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, please, forgive me. I’ll be a good dog. I’ll eat the crunchy bit and use the doggy door. Just please, please, don’t be mad. I-“

And he just kept going on and on. I couldn’t focus anymore. All his talking began to fade into one incoherent yelp and it was driving me nuts. Then I realized – it really was a yelp. I opened my eyes and found myself in my bed, the sound of a lonely dog crying coming from downstairs. I called him to me and he came to my bedside, tail wagging, piercing blue eyes gleaming with joy.

“Wanna go for a walk?”

Thank God, his reply was just a short, loud bark.