“Wow, this
is awesome!”
So Skippy
started talking all of a sudden. He was sitting there, looking at me with his
wild blue eyes, madly wagging his black and white tail, his mouth wide open in
what could only be an ecstatic grin. At first, I was excited as hell.
“Yes it
is!” I shouted out with glee. “What did you do? How did this happen?”
“I don’t
know, but it’s awesome! Wow, there’s so many things I wanna tell you now! Wow,
you have no idea! Wow!”
“Whoah,
slow down there, buddy,” I smiled at him and patted him on the head. “This is
kind of hard to take in, though. I can’t believe this actually happened!”
“I know,
right? Wow, I just… Okay, look, we need to talk about some things. Like, wow, I
know, like, you’re busy and stuff but we, like, seriously need to talk about
our walk schedule. Like, wow. I need to go out more, you know? You could think
of making me a doggie door or something, ‘cause wow-“
“But we
already have a doggy door.”
“We do?”
Skippy asked as he turned his head to the side. “Wow, I didn’t know that. Still
I really don’t get you people. Like, wow, why do you pick up my poop? I left it
there and it’s supposed to be there. Wow, like, talk about rude. Do you have an
explanation for that, huh? Or maybe you can tell my why you give me only the
crunchy stuff to eat lately? You used to give me that chunky stuff and that was
amazing, wow, and you gave me the stuff you ate and it was much better, but now
you don’t and I don’t know why. Do you just hate me? Because, wow, I love you
and I’m sorry if I made you hate me and I apologize and I want to make it up to
you because I want to be a good boy and-“
“Skippy,
please, could you just shut up for a second?”
“Oh, wow,
sorry! I just did it again, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, please, forgive me. I’ll be
a good dog. I’ll eat the crunchy bit and use the doggy door. Just please,
please, don’t be mad. I-“
And he just
kept going on and on. I couldn’t focus anymore. All his talking began to fade
into one incoherent yelp and it was driving me nuts. Then I realized – it
really was a yelp. I opened my eyes and found myself in my bed, the sound of a
lonely dog crying coming from downstairs. I called him to me and he came to my
bedside, tail wagging, piercing blue eyes gleaming with joy.
“Wanna go
for a walk?”
Thank God,
his reply was just a short, loud bark.